BUT, God!

BUT God.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us…. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
– Romans 8:18, 26-28

Sarah wrote the following one year ago today as she shared many of the things God had been teaching her following her emergency surgery.

“I am beyond the words capable of fully expressing just how thankful, humble, and relieved I am. My Heavenly Father is so gracious.

His love, power, and faithfulness truly overwhelm us both – and the outpouring of His love has been abundant – through His feet and hands: the living body of Christ 

I will be transparent about the not-so-fun stuff: not eating or drinking by mouth for 12 days, not really sleeping (especially since coming to the ICU – even though I am indescribably thankful to be here!)….not having my pain level drop as fast as I was hoping it would….my legs/feet feel like they’re so swollen that they could easily weigh about 100 lbs each 😳 Plus some chest pain in addition to my lungs not “bouncing back” as fast as we/they would like, as well as needing supplemental oxygen (especially at night) – oh and why are nasal cannulas so obnoxious/annoying? Of course, then there is the whole fun aspect of being hooked up to what really feels like a MILLION tubes and other machines….so yes, it takes a tole on you, of course! 😢…before I came up to ICU I had nicknamed my IV pole “Big Bertha” 😂

BUT God.

He is sustaining us. I know when the surgeon and ICU nurses tell me I’m doing so much better that they REALLY mean it – and the fact that I could sit up in a chair yesterday for several hours, plus walk 2 big “laps” around the floor…that my kidneys aren’t in “temporary failure” anymore, and my white count is at a normal-ish enough level that they’ll even tell me what it is – instead of changing the topic because they don’t want to stress me out 😕 – so those are all huge gains!! 🙌🏼

That an incredibly–gifted and skilled critical-care float nurse who has done this for many years – just could not stop looking at my chart all day while taking care of me – asking me questions again and again about the last week, as well as my symptoms before coming into the hospital….and saying “WOW!…I just cannot believe what you’ve been through and that you are doing as well as you are…that you are doing so well just in general!”.

Then when another RN says over and over to me last night when I was constantly apologizing for not being able to remember certain things – “well, despite the many medications you have to be on, I honestly cannot believe how lucid you are, given how strong these meds are!” — so, to me it is “just” the power of the Holy Spirit and I want Him to receive the praise! But believe me – cognitive function is still a HUGE struggle right now (and wow, am I more thankful than ever for my husband who is exceedingly patient) – but again, that just encouraged my heart to know that it could be much worse!

All of these praises….these miracles and mercies….they are all due to our great and almighty Physician – who has done incredible miracles and answered very specifically SO many of your/our prayers. I am completely overwhelmed (and I know Daniel is too) by all of it.

Of course, then there’s my husband – who has really never left my side, or failed to care for me in any way. I think he has fulfilled more of his marriage vows to me in the last 4.5 years then many have in twice as long or more….and no, this is NOT a competition – but just what God has determined for us – and truly what HE can do in absolutely any marriage when you submit to Him and His biblical plan for husband and wife.

However – the last 2+ weeks, his Christ-like love and sacrificial-leadership have been overwhelming – without Jesus Christ and him, I could not be doing this right now.

The greatest outward-praise I can hope to give to God through our marriage during this trial – is that multiple nursing staff members have noticed his love/care/tenderness and have specifically asked if we are still newlyweds? 😊That fills my heart with praise that we can have a testimony of HIS love flowing throughout our marriage!

There is still a LONG WAY to go healing-wise….I find myself so very prone to battling impatience and anxiety at moments…just wanting to feel NORMAL 😐

….worried they’ll send me out of ICU before I’m ready, concerned about complications,
and wondering how long it will take to heal….WHEN I can eat and drink again and stop hallucinating about food?!? 😆😂🥛🍰🥓🍇🍎🥑🌽🍳🍜🌮

So, I really felt taking time this morning to give God ALL of the glory and point my affections and desires back to Him – where they belong – would help me fight this battle in my flesh – especially when I am feeling so very weak.

Also, to once again THANK every single person – young, old,
or un-categorized 😉 – for their boundless love, encouragement, and prayers ❤”


There are days when clouds surround us, and the rain begins to fall, the cold and lonely winds won’t cease to blow. And there seems to be no reason for the suffering we feel; We are tempted to believe God does not know. When the storms arise, don’t forget we live by faith and not by sight.
Bow the knee; Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity. And when you don’t understand the purpose of His plan, in the presence of the King, bow the knee. – ‘Bow the Knee’

“You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” Revelation 4:11

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call. This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life. Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills HIS purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah God will send out His steadfast love and His faithfulness! – Psalm 56 + 57

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